The FriendsReunited Conspiracy (?) - Part 16 - Coming Soon. The Movie!

I was travelling home on the tube the other day, going through my emails. I was reading the latest weekly newsletter from the Kernel (called the Nutshell)

[as background - the Kernel ran a story about my blogs and the conspiracy. The conspirators then sent the full dossier to the Kernel which they then printed under another story with the tag line "Someone needs to be reunited with their marbles". Needless to say, neither article was very complementary towards these people. ]

Suddenly I came across the following

FRIENDS REUNITED REUNITED

More news from the ongoing Friends Reunited saga, in which founder Steve Pankhurst and his wife are being hounded by Wiklevoss-lite fantasists for a quick buck. (You can read the full, utterly bonkers dossier here.)

We were contacted anonymously at the end of January by someone claiming to be a "slolicitor" [sic] acting on behalf of John Meyer, crackpot in chief, asking if we'd like to appear in the book and movie Meyer claims he has secured "global rights" to.

But only if we take down the two posts linked to above and do a U-turn to support Meyer's zany consipiracy theories.

It doesn't get much more plausible - or professional - than this. Next, Meyer will be asking, Louise Mensch-like, for us to reveal our sources...  

I will try and get hold of the full email as this was the first I had heard of it. But how hilarious

• a solicitor apparently sending something anonymously, sort of negating the point really
• a slolicitor - is that a drunk one?
• asking a journalist to do a U-turn. Really going to happen? Sort of surprised they didn't do their usual and offer a "substantial financial reward".
• and asking to take down the dossier that they had sent!

But the best bit - global rights to a book and a movie. They have gone on about a book before but ...

A Movie!!!!!

Brilliant. My gob is well and truly smacked. Lets do it.

Can I help in any way. I can help with fund raising, setup investors, the script, locations etc.

We've had a brain storm and come up with some suggested actors.

Me - Ray Winston (I know someone who knows someone who once saw him in a pub if that helps)

Jason - Jason Statham

Julie - Meryl Streep

Our conspirator - if only Norman Wisdom was still alive

The script - I am sure Aaron Sorkin would be available to do The Social Network 2. However, I am a bit worried about the first 5 years of the film. Basically it involved me in a box room programming and answering emails every day. We need someone to inject some crazy conspiracy and made up content into it - hang on I think we know just the guy.......