Instagram: World Domination by Facebook

Instagram then eh. Great app - been using it for some time, simple, neat and a joy to use. But ONE BILLION DOLLARS - blimey.


I've read a lot of analysis of its worth but the fact of the matter is Facebook's main reason for buying it is because they can. It's all down to Facebook's own massive valuation of 100 billion that makes Instagram worth so much.


I read this the other day on Twitter - don't know how accurate it is but it is quite an eye opener


Instagram 13 employees, 18mnths old, $1bn valuation
Kodak 17,000 employees, 131yrs old, chapter 11


Wow - I know its a bit false to compare such different businesses but it is an amazing stat.


Lets face it, Facebook could snap up a lot of other great apps like Tumblr, Foursquare, Instapaper - in fact anything beginning with Insta - and still have loose change from a fraction of their IPO and future profits. Are we now in a period of tech history where Facebook will begin to take over the world. 


So everyone - start thinking now for that next billion dollar idea. Heres my prediction of whats going to happen in the next few year


(and read the $1bn as did Dr Evil in Austin Powers saying the ransom)


Instapoo - the new app that becomes an instant craze as people photo and share pictures of dog poo around the capital together with full poo location GPS. Just 6 months after launch Facebook acquire for ONE BILLION DOLLARS.


WikiPeek - People take pictures of random people on the street and post them to Wikipeak. It is then your job to browse the pictures and find random pictures of yourself or friends based on where you have been that day. Hours of fun as this craze takes off. Facebook acquire for ONE BILLION DOLLARS and instantly shut it down.


AcneFace - you take someones picture and it morphs acne onto your face and makes you look like a 16 year old teenager. On day one of launch it has 10 million downloads and on day two Facebook buys for ONE BILLION DOLLARS.


WalkorStalk - Put yourself forward as a Walker or a Stalker. Then match up with someone at a certain time and place where the stalker can follow the walker for hours. Geo location enabled and it doesn't take off - however that doesn't stop Facebook acquiring it for ONE BILLION DOLLARS.


MugJournal - this massive new social network site gets shut down by Facebook as overnight it sends Cease or Desist actions to two a and a half million sites that have the word Face or a derivative of (e.g. Mug) or have the word Book or derivative of (e.g.. Journal) Overnight Facebook accounts for 65% of all internet traffic.


FriendSwap - allows you to discard friends you no longer want and allows you to swap them with people who don't have many friends. Facebook acquires for ONE BILLION DOLLARS and then sets a maximum number of friends limit of 250.


Thats not all - 


Facebook turnover becomes greater than the US GDP at 15 Trillion. As a result of this and lobbying, the next presidential election is voted on by the largest number of Likes against each candidate. Mark Zuckerberg becomes President.


[Note to self - must stop writing a load of rubbish whenever stuck at home with sick children]


@spankyhurst

Peanuts Reunited

Over the past 6 years, even though for a large part of it I wasn't allowed to do any internet businesses, my brain has been full of ideas. Sometimes you get into a groove and you can't stop thinking about them (like now - up at 2am with jetlag)

And of course others have ideas and in pubs and other socials, people love to tell people their latest killer app that is going to take the world by storm (unless of course they want you to sign an NDA - see previous post)

Now FriendsReunited - the core idea behind the site - was not actually my idea. It was Julie's. I've never pretending anything different. Before FR nearly all my ideas I told mates in pubs were just laughed at or told "that will never work". However, just by association I noticed after we sold out that something odd started to happen when I told people my latest internet sensation. 

Everyone seemed to think every idea I had was brilliant.

Now of course they could all just be being polite to me. However, I started to wonder whether just because of one success, people (particularly those who just met me) thought everything I did turned to gold. Lets face it - most of my ideas are actually pants and the vast majority are never going to see the light of day - like most peoples.

So, a few years ago I decided to create a placebo idea. 

Peanuts Reunited. 

Ridiculous even before you hear what the idea is. Here's what a press release would say if it was real (please read in a Moss from the IT crowd voice)

"I was sitting in a pub one evening waiting for for a friend with a pint and a packet of peanuts. Some nuts fell out onto the table and I randomly picked up two split nuts. I placed them together and got a perfect match. It was a great feeling and suddenly Peanuts Reunited was born - a site where you reunite 2 nuts together. Simply take a picture of one half of the nut and the site uses bespoke imaging software to create a 3D image of the nut. Then log the details of the peanut and wait. The software then matches the half peanut with someone else's nut and informs you of the reunion. At that point perhaps a meet up to reunite the halves together and blah blah blah blah....."

You get the idea. 

So now and again I used to announce Ive had another great idea, describe away the concept behind PeanutsReunited in a really excited way and wait. There used to be a tumbleweed moment for a few seconds and blank faces before I would then burst out laughing and exclaim it was only a joke (yes its a fun night to be had going out with me)

However, after a few times of doing this, someone in a group of people, before I could announce the joke, actually shouted out "That is just a brilliant idea". I am not going to say who it was as its just too embarrassing. 

Anyway, it was enough to prove my point and finally realise that all my ideas were actually probably shit.

[However if anyone goes and does it I'll sue you]

[Please sign the NDA below]

FriendsReunitedReunited

It's said you should never go back to the scene of the crime. Last week I did just that.


I sold FriendsReunited in December 2005. ITV for some strange reason didn't want me around - no idea why - did they not trust my deep corporate ethic that I so clearly have. 


I've kept close contact with quite a few from those days, some very close friends fortunately. However, regarding the actual site itself, I am sad to admit I probably have only logged on a handful of times in 6 years. It felt like it lost its way - concentrating on earning revenue whilst Facebook concentrated on taking over the world before revenue.


I kept quiet too - mainly because although I had an opinion it didn't feel right to criticise the very hand that fed me. Plus I need a week off from swearing online - part of one of my blogs was lifted for the Independent last week, very much out of context (as always) and its embarressing for your daughter to count the number of f words and for your mum to feel equally proud and ashamed of her son at the same time. Don't worry I'll get back to swearing in a day or 2 when things have died down and I am back to writing boring tech crap.


ITV sold FR 2 years ago, and since then it has also been very quiet. I too had had no contact from the company who brought it - Bright Solid - although my friends moved over to them but I didn't really know what they were going to do with it.


Until last week.


By pure chance, they moved into a building in Shoreditch opposite where I do the odd bit of work. And on the day I found this out, I had lunch and a coffee with 2 old colleagues, and FR announced they were relaunching FR the following week. Plus I was contacted by the above mentioned Independent journalist wanting to do a feature.


It felt right to have a look and make a comment (although the Independent article in hindsight was probably a mistake) So I made contact and rudely invited myself over to have a nose.


I suppose I was expecting some dingy little setup (because thats how we ran it) trying to relaunch and take on Facebook - which lets face it would be suicide.


What I encountered was actually a breath of fresh air. 


Lets start with the company - the building they have refurbished was probably one of the best work environments Ive ever experienced. Beautiful building with lovely murals and even a Dennis The Menace drawn sneakily into the ceiling (they own The Beano too)


The people - ok I still have friends there but the welcome and general passion and enthusiasm of Chris and Matt at the helm was a fantastic change from some of the Shoreditch stereotypes I encounter (Don't worry I am not talking about you reader - honest)


And the site itself - to have a go and relaunch a failing brand in such a new niche product is risky but very brave. Whether it works for them or not I don't know, but I really feel FriendsReunited is in a good home and deserves a new lease of life that they are going for.  The amount of press it generated shows the brand itself is still valuable. I have nothing but praise so good luck and best wishes to them all.


So, this isn't a rant for once, and all you negative fuckers should just give it a chance for once. Damn, shit, bugger - I've sworn again.

NDA or Trust?

NDA's - I am sure everyone knows what they are but just in case, it stands for Non Disclosure Agreement - an agreement signed between 2 parties to protect information passed remaining confidential to third parties.


I will happily sign them with regards to deals being done or other such confidential legal matters regarding established businesses. However,  when people come to me with ideas sometimes I get asked to sign one before they will even tell me their idea or pitch. In this case I will never sign and if it is a problem I will walk away.


I have been badly caught out - early in the history of FriendsReunited I met with someone who wanted to pitch some ideas he thought would catapult FR's popularity and functionality. He was also interested in getting a job as commercial manager as we started to grow. So I met with him as part pitch/part interview. I was asked to sign an NDA and in my naivety I signed it. We had a good chat but unfortunately it became clear he wasn't either the sort of person we were looking for, and once hearing both his ideas, that his vision for FR was miles off ours and the ideas were of no interest to us.


We left on good terms. By the time I got home I had an email waiting that shocked me. He accused us of just meeting up to nick his ideas and that he would continue to monitor us to make sure we did not use them.  And over the next couple of years we continued to be reminded by this bitter person of our NDA with very unpleasant threatening emails. 


Well we never even considered his ideas and just for the record - its because they were fucking shit. There, Ive always wanted to get that out of my system (this blogging thing is good for empowerment)


No problem really. However, what if one of his ideas had been on our list of things for future development. Would that mean we could never do it.


Ideas are impossible to protect. The next big thing is currently being thought of by probably hundreds of people at the same time. Its who does it first quickest and best. I currently am involved in about 10 projects - all internet and nearly all in the social/app scene. It's highly likely there will be crossover some times. In fact one idea I am working on I have had for the past 5 years, and had it sort of pitched at me twice over the years. Both times I explained my spin on the idea and because the people were cool it never created a problem.


NDA's on idea pitches are crap. A meeting like that should be done on trust and if someone pitching an idea at me thinks there is a chance I will go off and nick his idea and do it myself then he obviously doesn't trust me and shouldn't be doing business with me.


One extreme case of this, was one of Julie's friends kept phoning her up ages ago wanting loads of advice on how to setup an internet site as she had an idea. When Julie asked what it was she said - "I can't tell you as you might go off and do it" - Nice. Needless to say she is no longer a friend.


I like to do things on trust and so far I don't think I've done too bad - the only occasions where things have got nasty and legal are where documentation was involved and things turned very ugly.


Therefore if you want to pitch an idea at me, don't expect me to sign anything.

I Am The Modern Day Dice Man - thumb.it

One of my favourite books is The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart. He creates a new life by deciding everything he does on the throw of the dice. I've tried it on evenings out - one memorable mates 40th birthday drink up in London took us all over the place in different bars and clubs and deciding what we drank each time.


I got invited to his 50th birthday drink tomorrow night and it reminded me of what we did a decade ago. So I set out today on its anniversary with another mate - Terry - on a social experiment to use a modern version of the Dice Man - namely the opinion and voting social service thumb.it which I've used it for some time and love it so here goes.


Vote 1 - Met at 10am in Laos Cafe in Highgate. Explained to Terry the idea and to be honest we had no real idea of what to do. First question then was easy 


Leaving cafe - shall we walk to highgate village (thumb up) or archway (thumb down)


Instantly getting votes we decided we would take the result after 30 votes (you usually get about 100 before it dries up)


We got the comment -


Highgate village yr less likely to get mugged there.


Amazingly on 29 votes it was exactly 50/50 (some people vote neutral) Wow - what a start, our whole day already depending on one random person somewhere in the world. Thankfully Highgate Village won it and off we trekked.


Vote 2 - Arrived in Highgate Village - yes a bit ponsy but the masses sent us there.


Should we go into betting shop (thumb up) or oxfam (thumb down)

Of course most users are American so don't know what Oxfam is but damn blast Oxfam won. So in we popped.

Vote 3 - Oxfam book shop - a lot of people around and we looked suspicious. We decided to choose one book each and do the vote.

In oxfam - which book to buy - abramovich (up) soft toys (down)

Surprise surprise a whopping 97% chose Soft Toys. Cost £2.50. Arrgghhh. 

Out into the street and realising we would have to carry the blasted book around all day Terry had a good idea and went and donated to the Cancer Research Charity Shop opposite.

Vote 4 - Needed to get away from Highgate - even the charity shops were posh.

Walk through park (up) or get a bus (down)

Nice and easy I thought although I wasn't impressed with one comment of the park said 

That place looks like rapists hang out there, you'll fit in fine ;)

Hmmmm. Do they not realise the seriousness of all this.

Anyway - we got lost. Thought we were in Tufnell Park and actually nearly at Kentish Town. Bit tired and saw a pub Id heard good things about - The Southampton Arms so in we popped. 

Vote 5  - Lots of real and cider so....

Which cider? Cider bus (up) burrow hill (down)

72% for Burrow Hill and very nice it was too.

Vote 6 - Quick walk to Kentish Town and hungry now.

Lunchtime pret (up) Indian curry (down)

Bloddy boring buggers - we really fancied a quick curry and 55% voted Pret.

One person I noticed commented "William Hill" which was next door and missed out on earlier so in we popped after lunch.

Vote 7 - Bookies - Sunderland dog race at 1:04

Betting shop. £10 on Ballymac the man (up) or two step blue (down)

94% of people voted for Two Step Blue. Useless dog came in 5th out of 6. This is getting expensive

Quick walk to Camden Market. 

Vote 8 - A lovely lady on a dutch mini pancake stall offered us some Dutch Dunkers. Which flavour though?

Dutch Dunkers - Ferrero rocher (up) rocky road (down)

Close thing but Rocky Road won with 53%.

However, time was running out and with our last vote being rejected by thumb.it accusing us of spam we decided at 2pm to call it a day.

Our experiment was done - a very enjoyable success I felt - although with coffee, scrumpy, jalapeño wrap and very sweet pancakes I was starting to feel sick.

What it did also do was provided me and Terry with 4 very funny but potentially classic business ideas which you never know one day could provide the story of another blog.

Board Meetings or Bored Meetings

In the early 90's I worked for Bovis Contruction (don't ask how that happened) - they loved a meeting or five. Their workforce was made up of very loud aggressive builders turned construction managers who seemed to love their existence by having a meeting and saying a lot.


I used to play a game. Sometimes there would 5-10 people in the meeting and it would go on for ages. I didn't say a lot so would calculate the amount of industry man hours (or days) that these meetings would take. You are talking about 2 man days on average. And most meetings finished with a conclusion to have another meeting.


It was around that time I decided I didn't want to do this anymore - I went freelance and kept away from any sort of meaningless meetings as much as I could. Of course I had to go to some but I always try to make sure they have a point.


Fast forward to about 2006. I invested in a few startups and ended up going to a few "investor" meetings. Unfortunately I wasn't the only investor. They were full of people like me - however, where I sort of stay quiet in groups until I have something relevant to add, these "professional investors" seemed to take this as an opportunity to show their importance by saying as much as they could. It seems I had found myself back to my old Bovis days.


I had a real problem with these meetings - not only because 80% of the content was boring and I could have got the bit I wanted out in 15 minutes tops. But because they must have been a huge distraction to the founders - some of which had to put together massive Board like packs for us all. I would have much rather they were working making the business succeed.


I am not saying nuggets of help didn't appear in these meetings from time to time - although I can't say I heard any whilst I day dreamed. However, how does a founder take away so many opinions from a meeting and make sense of it all. I would rather they judged their own judgement that got them to create a startup in the first place and ask specific questions to relevant people as and when they need help. 


Unsurprisingly I opted out of all these meetings after a few months because I realised the founders were not getting anything from me and I was wasting my time. How many of these Investor/Board/Advisory/Mentor meetings must be going on.


I have been on both sides of this. Luckily as a founder our minority investors were not tech experienced so couldn't and didn't have to offer much to our at most bi annual catch ups. And really they were just happy to receive dividend cheques. But being on the investor side I feel sympathy with the founders and had a lot of chats with many of them who politely tell me stories of the above where everyone is giving advice, sometimes contradictory to each other.


On a personal front after realising what I want out of investments I have sort of got it down to a fine art. I avoid all meetings with groups of investors (apart from friends) if I can help it. Meetings with founders are either in Cafe/Adam Street/Pub/Bar, usually on a one to one basis, very informal and with minimal written updates on progress if required (one page). A few beers usually help the process along.


@spankyhurst

I Remember The iPhone....

I have been a lot of clearing out lately moving into a new office at home. I'm a hoarder so I have boxes and boxes of stuff.


I came across a box with my old Sinclair ZX Spectrum and all its games. OK so its showing my age - I think it came out about 1982, it was a fantastic gadget at the time and a marked improvement of the ZX81 (which I don't have anymore) 

The games were loaded from cassettes  - if they worked - and were genius and ground breaking at the time. I used to buy magazines and program in the code to make a few blocks drop pixels in letter U buckets. Is this where I picked up my coding skills - I doubt it as it should have put me off. The code had to be stored back onto cassette tapes and I remember with horror spending 2 hours typing in some code only for the builders in the house to switch off the electrics and it was lost. Happy times....


Next I came across across all my old laptops probably since mid 90's - all shapes and sizes.

Why I kept these I have no idea - probably full of lots of old data and emails that would make interesting reading now if I could be bothered to get them working - which I'm not.


Also another box of a mishmash of gameboy consoles, ipods, nano's and other game consoles that are antiques now.


Finally a box of old phones - again of all shapes and sizes 

Each laptop, phone, game console, gadget was brought lovingly with excitement (yes I am probably sad) and seen at its time as state of the art technology. OK, so the Spectrum was 30 years ago, but most of the others were within the last decade.


So, lets all take a few minutes to look longingly at out iPhone or Macbook Air or whatever yours is and imagine a decade in the future......for without a doubt they will soon be obsolete.


@spankyhurst